Sacred Connected-ness
Pull up a chair, friend.
There are a lot of things you can do to prepare for the moment your baby enters the world: packing a bag for the hospital, setting up your baby’s nursery, and reading up on how to be the perfect parent (joking, of course - there is no perfect parent!).
But nothing can truly prepare you for the moment you become a parent. The heart-fluttering joy of looking into your baby’s eyes for the first time. The attachment and protectiveness you’ll feel when introducing your baby to others. The anxiety of placing them in a crib or car seat where you won’t be with them every moment.
While delivering your baby is a very physical event, becoming a mother is a biochemical one. Your brain rewires itself in a way that’s hard to put into words. To say it simply, your entire life changes.
Connecting with Baby - And Your New Self
It’s no secret that having a baby means life changes in ways you might not have considered. But for many new mothers, the emotional changes are among the most unexpected. As it turns out, these changes are largely neurological.
Throughout your pregnancy, your brain is going through changes, too. Scientists have found that more activity starts occurring in the area of the brain that controls social interactions, anxiety, and empathy. It’s not by accident or coincidence that you might start constantly worrying about your baby, or will walk through fire or defeat a pack of wolves for them. It’s all in your biology!
The first 40 days after your baby is born (ie the postpartum period) is essential for bonding with your new little one. It’s a time of establishing trust and focusing on your baby’s needs. But it’s also important to get acquainted with your new self. As a brand new mom, this is a side of you that you’ve never gotten to meet. This person is as much of a stranger to you as your new baby, so take this time to get to know (and listen!) to the new you.
Learning to Listen to Your Body
Listening to your body is a challenge for many new moms during postpartum, largely because you’re still comparing your current self to your former self. Maybe you were always the one to heal quickly from injury, pull all-nighters, or keep pushing forward because you’re a go-getter.
But that might not be who you are during postpartum - and that’s totally okay!
When you recognize postpartum as a time of sacred connectedness, you are better positioned to pick up on cues your body is giving you. For example, are you in pain? Feeling lightheaded? Tiring more quickly than usual? It’s okay if you are. Just go slow and feel this experience, and learn to trust the process.
Tuning Out the Rest of the World
Another tough challenge is focusing on the connection without letting the world interfere with your experience. Societal pressures on new moms are relentless, and it’s grossly unfair because they pull your focus away from the importance of postpartum.
Remember the world can wait. It will still be there when you’ve turned the corner. This time with your baby - and your new self - will never come again.
Take a deep breath, because the days after becoming a mother are essential in helping you find your footing in your new life. This is a period of sacred connectedness, not just with your little one, but also with the new version of yourself. The more you channel and embrace this connection, the more resilient and confident you’ll be at the end of the postpartum period.
Grounding for Connectedness
Remind yourself of who you are in the present, and honor the person you were in the past.
Take deep breaths, and upon exhaling say something that you like about yourself.
Be intentional about feeling the moment. Notice five things you can see, four things you can smell, and three things you can feel, two things you can taste, and one thing you can hear. Where are you? How are you feeling at that moment in time?
Close your eyes and run your fingertips softly down your arm (one at a time), starting at your shoulder, slowly working your way all the way down to your hand. Feel the sensation.
Notice five things you can see, five things you can smell, and five things you can feel, taste, or hear.
Lie down flat on your back, close your eyes, and listen to your body. Wiggle your toes and fingers, move your shoulders in a circular motion, move your hips from side to side, touch your right ear to your right shoulder and your left ear to your left shoulder. What is your body saying to you? How do you feel? Is anything in pain? Is your body telling you that it's depleted? In this moment give yourself permission to feel.
